Night Hike

This week we are starting another fun summer trend:  The Night Hike.  My husband and I went out to dinner last Friday and on our way back home, we stopped by the park near our house and hiked the trails for 30 minutes.  It's really one big loop and I've walked it so many times with Sadie, our dog, that I can walk it with my eyes closed.  Which is kind of what it felt like walking it at night. It was ok in open areas where the light from the moon illuminated the path, but in areas where there is a lot of tree cover, it was pitch black and no, we didn't have a flashlight, but somehow, we managed to walk the whole way and it was such a relaxing experience we had to share it with the kids.

We have done it two days in a row and the kids love it.  We go just before the light disappears. Even my two-year old enjoys the cicadas, the crickets, and today, the crazy toad that spooked us.  We thought is was a leaf, but when Daniel tried to touch it with his stick, it jumped really far.  The rest of us jumped in the other direction.  :) 

Tomorrow night, I would like to see if we can take flashlights so we can see go frogging in the creek.  When I was little, I spent a lot of time in Cancun with my uncle and his family going out in the middle looking for crabs.  It was so much fun to be on the beach in the dark chasing crabs that we would later eat boiled.  Ah, man, not a good memory. Now, I miss eating crabs.  Did I mention I'm a Vegan these days?

TTYL.

TV-Watching Marathon

I love everything Little House on the Prairie -- the books, the show, the recipes, the clothing. My kids love watching Little House in the Prairie, too. My husband has given me almost the entire series on DVD and over the last few years we have watched some episodes here and there.  Yesterday, however, we watched about 8 shows.  That is a lot of TV for people who hardly ever watch any.

The kids are officially hooked on the show.  I really enjoy watching the episodes and discussing them with the kids.  The show does a great job brining up difficult subjects like mental illness and homelessness and putting a kid-friendly spin on them.  The kids also ask a lot of questions about that historical period.  Nati is in love with bonnets.  I had to get her one for her birthday.

We hardly ever watch TV but yesterday that is all we did for most of the day.  If TV were always this good, I would have a hard time limiting the kids to only a few hours per week.  But nowadays, what is out there that is good?  PBS and PBS Kids?  That's about it.

We'll stick with our Little House on the Prairie for now. I might even add Family Ties and the Brady Bunch.  I'm just afraid if I do that, we will spend our entire summer watching those shows.  :)

TTYL.

Now I Know How You Feel

My 10-year-old son slept in on Friday, the second day of summer vacation.  He woke up very late, but in a very good mood.  He offered to make pancakes for me and his little sister.  My other daughter was at a sleepover and my husband was at work already. He asked me to sit down and ejoy my breakfast, that he would take care of everything.  So I took him up on his offer and let him run the show.

He made vegan pancakes by following the recipe on the Energy Egg Replacer box.  He was a busy bee measuring, mixing, pouring, flipping, and serving pancakes.  My youngest daughter was sick so she was acting very needy that day. While Daniel was getting breakfast ready, she asked him for different shape pancakes, for a fork, for milk, for water, for a plate, for the syrup...Daniel kept giving her everything she asked for while keeping an eye on his pancakes.

Finally, when his stack was ready, he turned off the stove and came to sit at the table.  "Phew," he said.  "That was a lot of work."  Just then his little sister asked him to refill her water cup.  He turned to look at me totally exasperated and said, "Now I know how you feel, Mom! You never get to eat!"

I was laughing so hard I almost choked on my pancake, but I am glad he gained a new appreciation for what I do for him and his sisters every day.  I love that boy.

The Unemployed Harvard Grad

My brother cracks me up every time he refers to me as "the unemployed Harvard grad." Very funny but erroneous because you can only be unemployed if you are actually looking for employment, right? Which I am not, at this time. But he's not the only one wondering what I do all day with "all" my time. My sister is in shock when I tell her I don't have time to clean my car every week. "What?! You stay home. How can you not have time? What do you do all day?" she says to me, partly in jest, but mostly not. I think sometimes even my sweet husband wonders how I spend my time.

So...I decided to start tracking it and here is my "typical" day:

Typical Day in the Life of this "Stay-at-Home" Mom

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off. I get up to make breakfast for my kids and husband and feed the dog (I try to get up this early most days.).
6:00 a.m. - Kids and husband go out the door. I empty the dishwasher, put in the dirty breakfast dishes, wipe the counters, scour the sink, and sweep the kitchen floor.
6:20 a.m. - Fold a load of laundry and transfer load from washer to dryer and start new load. Tidy up family room.
6:30 a.m. - Pour myself a cup of coffee. Go upstairs to check email, facebook, and blog for about an hour.
7:30 a.m. - My baby girl wakes up. I dress her and fix our breakfast. We eat together. While eating, I read her several books.
8:00 a.m. - I start getting ready for my morning walk: put on work out clothes, pack snacks for Bella, get stroller ready (need blankets, jackets, etc.) Get Sadie ready with leash, water, and bags.
8:30 a.m. - Depart on our morning walk.
9:30 a.m. - Return from our morning walk. Shower and get dressed.
10:00 a.m. - Make beds and do chores or errands based on day of week: Monday - grocery shopping. Tuesday - drop Bella off at school, work on house project (clean backyard, organize files, clean closets, etc.). Wednesday - deep clean one room in the house, go to library or park. Thursday - drop Bella off at school, volunteer work at home or at school or run errands. Friday - bake for bake sale, plan menus for next week, cook dinner early, need to be at school by 1pm to help with bake sale every Friday and we don't get home until 6pm on Fridays.
12:00 noon - Fix lunch and eat at home (I try eat out only one day a week, now. When I eat out, it normally takes about 1.5 hours.)
12:30 pm - Fold laundry, transfer laundry from washer to dryer, put in new load. Vacuum or sweep, clean one bathroom.
1: 30 pm - Start dinner preparations or continue working on projects (volunteer or house).
2:00 pm. - Start packing after school snacks for the kids.
2:30 pm. - Leave the house to go get the kids from school.
3:30 pm. - Arrive home with kids. Help them get snacks and do homework.
4:30 pm. - Start dinner (if there is an activity that night) or supervise kids while they play outside.
5:30 pm. - Start dinner (or head to activity: soccer, baseball, PTA meeting or other volunteer activity). Kids help set the table or play together inside.
6:30 pm. - Eat dinner and family time.
7:00 pm. - Dinner clean-up and family time.
8:00 pm. - Help the older kids get ready for bed. Read a story.
8:30 pm. - Finish dinner clean-up and get my little girl ready for bed.
9:00 pm. - Get myself ready for bed. I usually read 30 minutes to an hour.
9:45pm. - Lights out.

Sometimes we have playdates after school that turn into dinner. Mondays and Fridays we have baseball. Thursday we have soccer so dinner needs to be early those days. Sometimes I think I need to make my days more "productive," but then again, where do I fit in more productivity?

TTYL.

Bread-winner or Bread-baker?

After much contemplation and discussion, we have decided that I will stay home until Isabella starts Kindergarten which is in two more years. (If the right part-time opportunity arises, I might consider it, but at this point, I am not actively looking for employment.) I just feel I would be missing out on her young years and my older kids are still little, too. I am not ready to put them all in after school care and leave Isabella in daycare 9 hours a day, five-days a week. I remember when I used to work. I dropped Daniel off at 8:15 and picked him up at 5:30. We got home at 6:15, ate a quick dinner, gave him a bath and he was in bed by 7:30. I got to see him a total of maybe 3 hours in a week day. Some people can and more power to them. For me, I had kids to enjoy them and be with them and I'm just not ready to go back to only seeing them a few hours a day. Yes, it would be nice to have the extra income, but do my kids need ski trips more than they need mommy? I don't think so.

At any rate, at the end of my extended "maternity leave," I will have been home 8 years!!!! That seems like a long time, but as you know, time flies especially when you are involved in the care of young children. So with that in mind...

I was at the dentist a few weeks ago because Nati was getting her teeth cleaned. It was snowing hard (the first snow we've had in two years!). I casually mentioned that it was a good day for going home and baking bread. The dentist's face lit up and she said, "Do you bake bread regularly?" I was embarrased to admit that I have never actually baked bread. Then she tells me that when her kids were little, she could only afford to stay home for one year, but that she baked bread every day that year. What the?! Are you serious? Wow. I was so impressed.

Later as I was driving away from her office, all these questions started percolating in my head: What have you been doing in your six years at home, Sylvia, when you haven't been a bread winner? You're not even being a bread-baker? What HAVE you been doing?

More later...

Responsible Parenting

Do responsible parents let their 10-year-old read Stephen King's Pet Sematary? What about the Lord of the Rings Trilogy? I don't want to squash his enthusiasm for reading, but seriously, Stephen King?

"Aren't there other more age-appropriate things he can read?" I asked the lady in charge of Juvenile Literature at Half-Price Books (they are so knowledgeable - almost as good as Book People employees!).

She said, "Well, have you tried Harry Potter?"

"Yes, he's read that."

"Have you tried Percy Jackson?"

"Yes, he's read that."

"Have you tried Redwall?"

"Yes, he's read that."

"Have you tried Ranger's Apprentice?"

"Yes, he's read that."

"Peter and the Star Catcher?"

"Read it."

"Warrior series?"

"Reading it."

"Lemony Snicket?"

"Reading it."

She gave me a funny look and then she said, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. He's pretty well read." Well, that was helpful.

So back to my orignal question: Should we let him read Stephen King books? I'm leaning towards NO, but I could be swayed. David said he read it when he was 11 and he had nightmares. Maybe he can read that stuff when he's a teenager...

Is it so small a thing to have enjoy'd the sun?

I recently attended a book club meeting in which we discussed The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. One of the main characters, Elizabeth, has a quote she repeats frequently, "Is it so small a thing to have enjoy'd the sun..." My husband and I looked up the quote and discovered that it is from The Hymn of Empedocles by Matthew Arnold:

Is it so small a thing

To have enjoy'd the sun,

To have lived light in the spring,

To have loved, to have thought, to have done;

To have advanced true friends, and beat down baffling foes...

It is now one of my favorite poems. I love it because it's about enjoying the ups and downs of life and living in the moment. It reminds me of another quote titled "Success" that I learned from a friend in college:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

They both espouse a very good philosophy and one that I need to remember as I grapple with the question of going back to work. How do I define success? Why am I in such a hurry to put my 2 1/2 year-old in pre-school all day? What is driving me to do it?

I thought I knew. I have been out of the work force for five years which is a long time to be out for a person with a technology degree. My two older kids are in school all day and my youngest is 2 and a half and she goes to preschool two days a week. What am I going to do with myself all day?

More later...

More on Mothers

I wonder if grown-ups who still have their mothers around understand how lucky we are to have had a mother raise us and still be with us.

I recently attended the Heart Gallery of Central Texas Gala sponsored by the Adoption Coalition of Central Texas. The Heart Gallery is a display of portraits of older children in foster care who want to be adopted into a family.

At this gala, I met a very nice young woman who at 36 was finally adopted. One would think that at 36 she would have already gotten used to flying solo in the world, but to her the adoption was the start of her healing. She had been searching for a family her entire life. She talked so proudly about her new Mom and her brothers.

But every where I look, I seem to find stories of people who long for a mother. I also recently met and befriended another very nice young woman who grew up in a house with a mother who had a mental illness. My friend basically raised herself and then got placed in foster care when she was in her teens. She is now married with children so she has created her own family, but not having a mother has really been hard for her.

The mother of one of my roommates passed away when my roommate was six. She left behind two little girls under the age of 7. My friend talked about missing her mother terribly. The only physical evidence that her mother had existed was a purse my friend had in her closet and a picture of her mom, her dad, my friend and her sister that she had on her dresser.

I attended a reading by Sandra Cisneros a few months ago and she mentioned that when her mother died, she cried because she felt like an orphan and she was 54.

And then there are the lucky people, like me, who not only have a mother, but also had a grandmother to care of me. My grandmother lived at home with us and made every one of my meals for my first 18 years of my life. She baked cookies for me. She sang me lullabies so I could sleep. She held me in her arms when I was sick or sad. She hugged and kissed me every day of our life together. My mother worked outside the home, but she was there for me always. My mother still calls me once a week, and she worries about me when I am sick or she hasn't heard from me in a few days.

I just cannot imagine the void that one must feel when that person who adores you more than possibly anyone else in the world, is gone.

I feel for those children in foster care and I wish I were in a position to adopt a few of them. I feel for my friends who carry this sadness inside their hearts every day. And I feel so fortunate to have been born into a family with caring parents and caring grandparents.

But I can't help but wonder, why me? And why were those children at the Heart Gallery born into families who couldn't take care of them? Why am I the lucky one and not them?

I wonder.

TTYL.

Are You My Mother?

For Daniel's Back-To-School Night, students in his class had to write a short description of one parent. The teacher read the descriptions out loud during the classroom meeting with all the parents. Parents then had to guess if the person described in the essay was them. Here is what Daniel wrote:

"Who Am I? By Daniel Kauffman

Do you recognize this elegant woman with dark brown hair?

My mom has dark brown hair, brown eyes and the smell of Pert [shampoo] when she gets out of the shower. She's short and old. Her eyes sparkle like water when the sun hits it.

My mom is always caring for me. My mom is funny. She makes me laugh. My mom helps me a lot. She is fun to play with. She's cool playing with me. She's very smart with computers.

My talented mom is good at making dinner and lunch. She is very fast and good at texting. She's very good at making me mad then calming me down. She gets scared easily.

My mom enjoys watching me play baseball and my sister soccer. She enjoys reading, writing, and math. She also loves school.

Are you my mother?"

I find it interesting that he thinks I'm elegant. :) I find that comment so endearing. I should ask him what his definition for elegant is. The other thing that cracked me up is that he notices the smell of my shampoo, which by the way, thanks to a new friend who knows a lot about hair, I am now using Nioxin shampoo and Redken conditioner and neither smells like Pert. I wonder if he'll notice the difference. I also thought it was funny that he mentioned that I text a lot. I'm a little embarrassed by that comment, but I can't blame him for writing the truth. I'm just glad he didn't write other more embarrassing truths about me...

And I'm not THAT old. :)

Why I can never get projects done

Today went like this:

7:30 a.m. Wake up and jump in the shower

8:00 a.m. Check facebook before driving Isabella to the doctor

8:45 a.m. Finally see doctor!

9:00 a.m. Arrive home

9:30 a.m. Walk/run with Isabella and friend

11:00 a.m. Lunch with friends

12:30 p.m. Salvation Army bookstore with friend

2:20 p.m. Drop off friend at her house and head to school to pick up kids

2:52 p.m. Pick up kids

3:30 p.m. Arrive home; kids start homework

4:30 p.m. Homework done; start dinner

6:00 p.m. Dinner

7:00 p.m. Kids get ready for bed

7:15 pm. Reading time

8:00 p.m. Lights out for kids; dishes for me.

9:00 p.m. Bedtime

Wake up and start over!