It's called Politics

One of the big items on Obama's agenda before his election was his promise of bipartisanship. Sounded good to everyone. Bipartisanship means both parties compromise to put out legislation that benefits the majority of the people.

Fast forward a year and a half.....

Obama is still trying to be bipartisan but what is Congress doing, especially the Republican minority who insists on obstructing everything coming out of the White House or put forth by the Democrats in Congress? My question is why are we still trying to play fair when it appears that no one else is?

Case in point: Obama's 15 recess appointments. The constitution provides for the President to make appointments to fill vacant federal positions while the Senate is out on recess. Thus, bypassing Senate confirmation. Obama has more 200 outstanding federal positions open because the Senate refuses to confirm them and all he has done is appoint 15. While Bush was in office, he made more than 170 recess appointments, including the appointment of John Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations knowing full well that his appointment was very controversial. Again I ask, why are we still playing fair, people? The conservative media is calling Obama a hypocrite for using recess appointments because when Bolton was appointed Obama criticized President Bush. Duh, people, this is politics. What part don't you understand?

In politics, you have to do whatever is in your legal power to further your agenda, as long as it is ethical. Obama is being too nice, if you ask me, by only appointing 15. What do we owe the Republican minority? The same minority who claimed the Healthcare reform bill is not bipartisan and voted against it as a bloc knowing all along that they authored more than 200 provisions in that bill? You can call it obstructionism or hypocrisy, but it's called politics, people.

Historic Bills and Spineless Congressmen

I stayed up way past my bed time last night waiting for the U.S. House of Representatives to vote on the historic healthcare reform bill. I tell you, it was more exciting than watching the Longhorns play. We needed 216 votes for it to pass and with only a few minutes left to vote, we had 208, then 210, then 214, then 215, and finally 216, but then it kept going and the final vote was 219 to 212. Yes, we did!!!

I am outraged at some of those spineless Democrats from Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Texas (Chet Edwards), New York, Massachussets (Stephen Lynch), and other states who did not vote for this bill. Why do we Democrats keep supporting these "Democratic" congresspeople with our money and our votes? Let's figure out a way to vote them out and get new people in, I say.

And the amount of misinformation being thrown around last night was disheartening: we are not robbing Social Security; we are not creating death panels; we are not creating a bigger deficit. No wonder the American people do not know whom they should believe. Besides, where were these people who are suddenly all worried about a deficit when the last administration drove us into the worst deficit in history???? I don't remember hearing them complain then.

Then some guy (I think he was from Texas, I was too disgusted to look at him) starts talking about not "going against the will of the American people." Exactly whose will are we talking about here?

It's not over yet so we can't claim complete victory, but a major hurdle was crossed yesterday. In six years, people will have healthcare even if they can't afford it. Imagine that? It feels good to be an American today.

Walk, Read, Write

In my previous post, I mentioned that I have been keeping track of how I spend my time. After reviewing the activities on my "typical" day, I realized I am actually spending a lot of quality time doing the things I love: walking, reading, and writing. I am so thankful for that realization. I feel that I am not "wasting" time. Now I have to think about what other things I should be doing that involve the family. Am I spending real quality time with them? Am I making an effort to pass on traditions and family values, such as service, in a consistent and positive manner?

In my quest to learn ways to do this, I am reading a book called Converting the Baptized by William O'Malley, S. J., a pastor who teaches high school students how to have a personal relationship with God. He claims that most Catholics grow up going to church every Sunday but know very little about having a true personal relationship with God. That is very true for me, at least. In this book, he offers suggestions for parents and teachers to help teenagers learn the tools that will help them develop this relationship with God. And the beauty of the book is that in the process of learning to help our children, we adults can learn the tools, too, since most of us have never used them ourselves. I am so loving this book!

More later...

The Unemployed Harvard Grad

My brother cracks me up every time he refers to me as "the unemployed Harvard grad." Very funny but erroneous because you can only be unemployed if you are actually looking for employment, right? Which I am not, at this time. But he's not the only one wondering what I do all day with "all" my time. My sister is in shock when I tell her I don't have time to clean my car every week. "What?! You stay home. How can you not have time? What do you do all day?" she says to me, partly in jest, but mostly not. I think sometimes even my sweet husband wonders how I spend my time.

So...I decided to start tracking it and here is my "typical" day:

Typical Day in the Life of this "Stay-at-Home" Mom

5:30 a.m. - Alarm goes off. I get up to make breakfast for my kids and husband and feed the dog (I try to get up this early most days.).
6:00 a.m. - Kids and husband go out the door. I empty the dishwasher, put in the dirty breakfast dishes, wipe the counters, scour the sink, and sweep the kitchen floor.
6:20 a.m. - Fold a load of laundry and transfer load from washer to dryer and start new load. Tidy up family room.
6:30 a.m. - Pour myself a cup of coffee. Go upstairs to check email, facebook, and blog for about an hour.
7:30 a.m. - My baby girl wakes up. I dress her and fix our breakfast. We eat together. While eating, I read her several books.
8:00 a.m. - I start getting ready for my morning walk: put on work out clothes, pack snacks for Bella, get stroller ready (need blankets, jackets, etc.) Get Sadie ready with leash, water, and bags.
8:30 a.m. - Depart on our morning walk.
9:30 a.m. - Return from our morning walk. Shower and get dressed.
10:00 a.m. - Make beds and do chores or errands based on day of week: Monday - grocery shopping. Tuesday - drop Bella off at school, work on house project (clean backyard, organize files, clean closets, etc.). Wednesday - deep clean one room in the house, go to library or park. Thursday - drop Bella off at school, volunteer work at home or at school or run errands. Friday - bake for bake sale, plan menus for next week, cook dinner early, need to be at school by 1pm to help with bake sale every Friday and we don't get home until 6pm on Fridays.
12:00 noon - Fix lunch and eat at home (I try eat out only one day a week, now. When I eat out, it normally takes about 1.5 hours.)
12:30 pm - Fold laundry, transfer laundry from washer to dryer, put in new load. Vacuum or sweep, clean one bathroom.
1: 30 pm - Start dinner preparations or continue working on projects (volunteer or house).
2:00 pm. - Start packing after school snacks for the kids.
2:30 pm. - Leave the house to go get the kids from school.
3:30 pm. - Arrive home with kids. Help them get snacks and do homework.
4:30 pm. - Start dinner (if there is an activity that night) or supervise kids while they play outside.
5:30 pm. - Start dinner (or head to activity: soccer, baseball, PTA meeting or other volunteer activity). Kids help set the table or play together inside.
6:30 pm. - Eat dinner and family time.
7:00 pm. - Dinner clean-up and family time.
8:00 pm. - Help the older kids get ready for bed. Read a story.
8:30 pm. - Finish dinner clean-up and get my little girl ready for bed.
9:00 pm. - Get myself ready for bed. I usually read 30 minutes to an hour.
9:45pm. - Lights out.

Sometimes we have playdates after school that turn into dinner. Mondays and Fridays we have baseball. Thursday we have soccer so dinner needs to be early those days. Sometimes I think I need to make my days more "productive," but then again, where do I fit in more productivity?

TTYL.

Bread-winner or Bread-baker?

After much contemplation and discussion, we have decided that I will stay home until Isabella starts Kindergarten which is in two more years. (If the right part-time opportunity arises, I might consider it, but at this point, I am not actively looking for employment.) I just feel I would be missing out on her young years and my older kids are still little, too. I am not ready to put them all in after school care and leave Isabella in daycare 9 hours a day, five-days a week. I remember when I used to work. I dropped Daniel off at 8:15 and picked him up at 5:30. We got home at 6:15, ate a quick dinner, gave him a bath and he was in bed by 7:30. I got to see him a total of maybe 3 hours in a week day. Some people can and more power to them. For me, I had kids to enjoy them and be with them and I'm just not ready to go back to only seeing them a few hours a day. Yes, it would be nice to have the extra income, but do my kids need ski trips more than they need mommy? I don't think so.

At any rate, at the end of my extended "maternity leave," I will have been home 8 years!!!! That seems like a long time, but as you know, time flies especially when you are involved in the care of young children. So with that in mind...

I was at the dentist a few weeks ago because Nati was getting her teeth cleaned. It was snowing hard (the first snow we've had in two years!). I casually mentioned that it was a good day for going home and baking bread. The dentist's face lit up and she said, "Do you bake bread regularly?" I was embarrased to admit that I have never actually baked bread. Then she tells me that when her kids were little, she could only afford to stay home for one year, but that she baked bread every day that year. What the?! Are you serious? Wow. I was so impressed.

Later as I was driving away from her office, all these questions started percolating in my head: What have you been doing in your six years at home, Sylvia, when you haven't been a bread winner? You're not even being a bread-baker? What HAVE you been doing?

More later...

Noisy Hearts

I have been reading a lot of books on spirituality lately. I read them a lot when I was single, too. I had just started working in a professional setting. I lived in Houston by myself in my own apartment. I didn't really know that many people. I was working on a challenging assignment with new technology and very little mentoring from the staff. I was far away from family. I had just broken up with my college boyfriend. I got up early, went to work, worked until very late, worked out, came home had dinner and went to bed and then it started all over again.

I felt like I was living in a whirlwind and I needed to find ways to slow it down. My favorite book of that season of my life is The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. That book gave me the framework I needed to sort out all the changes that were going on in my life and put things back in perspective.

Now that I am a parent and have three kids and their activities to deal with, I feel, once again, that I am living in a whirlwind. Thankfully, Isabella goes to school two days a week, and that gives me time to slow down a bit, but the rest of the time, it feels like I am shuttling children from activity to activity, or going from one volunteer or school activity to another.

I have also wanted to find a way for my kids to not feel this whirlwind. What can we teach them to help them deal with our fast-paced life? I started looking for another book that would help me put things in perspective and help me teach the kids how to slow down. I search the library and the internet and I found two(!):

Nurturing Silence in a Noisy Heart is outstanding. The author claims that in a digital world, we have lost our privacy. No matter where you are, you can be reached via your cell phone. We no longer seem to give ourselves time to just be. This is especially true for our children once they start school, he claims. Even outdoor time is structured: soccer practice, baseball practice, etc. Parents trying to make memories pack activity after activity on weekends: bowling, movies, etc., but when do kids have a chance to just be? His book gives wonderful ideas for adults to slow down and smell the roses. For instance, he says get up before the whole family does and just sit in a dark room gathering your thoughts or go for an early morning walk by yourself. He recommends one make a list of things that nourish our soul and keep a record of how often we do those things in a week. After a week, examine how often you engaged in an activity on your list. Are you doing the things that are important to you or are you just going through the motions you know will get you through the day? I love all the questions he poses.

Habits of a Child's Heart: Raising your kids with the spiritual discipline is totally worth owning, as well. The authors base this book on Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. They lay out the 12 principles that are important to help one make the most of our spiritual life: meditation, prayer, fasting (not just from food, but from TV and video games, too), study, confession, worship, guidance (how to be a good friend and learn to make good friends), celebration, simplicity, solitude, submission, and service. They explain what each principle is, how a parent can learn to use this principle, and offer specific ideas and suggestions for teaching them to children of all ages. I know Foster's book is based on Quaker and Roman Catholic thought and therefore, considered controversial by some religious groups, but Habits of a Child's Heart really spoke to me and gave me the framework I was looking for. It's almost like a summary of the important suggestions you read about in other spiritual books. You know how it is when you start seeing the same thing in all the books you're reading? You feel like you are getting closer to seeing the light. I love it!